It’s 2018. What a year.

Not for me in any major way, but it does mark ten years since my injection denied entry into the next world.

It’s a stunning landscape. Me among the old. As I again choose an odd way of saying things.

My thoughts surround everything. And everything surrounds my thoughts.

The cars outside will never truly understand and if they did it would be a terrifying world.

What the fuck is he talking about?

Well, the answer is of course way to crazy to say. But I will scrawl this across a page any day.

‘I had my moments.’

In the unknown world we all tread across. With every detail of every idea that goes through your head.

In every room you are in and everything that happens.

I definitely had them.

And I hope I get at least one more.

Or a million.

Or a trillion.

But each time I wake up I go about my day. Letting each moment pass like the next.

And if we ever find out more than we already know. I will have been waiting patiently for the answers.


I had my moments.

There will always be an old world explanation and it will be indisputable and undisputed.

I have no idea what’s out there and I don’t want to know. Not ever.

I have no memory of ever committing any real crime and know I haven’t. But it’s hard to stay relevant when the gap between each group is so vast. So I have no idea if that’s even a thing.

Or if anyone will read this…

What I can say is whatever’s out there. I probably have an explanation you would never believe. But then again, just wait… They’ll finish this thing perfectly.

But only if they use their powers to keep me here long enough.

Even if there’s nothing actually out there, yet. Just wait. The system is infallible.

Like I said, it’s hard to know what’s relevant.

Don’t ever come talk to me about it.

Im sure you’ll just laugh, or hate, or ridicule, or judge, or show the disgust I’ve been witnessing for ten years for reasons I’m not even aware of.

But I guess that’s just because I’m fucking stupid. Anyone else would have beaten this crazy system easily.

It’s not perfect or anything.

But careful how you choose the context. The sarcasm only extends to the last couple of lines.

I know you all know better than me.

That’s a fact.

But it’s more complicated than that. At least for 50% of you.

Maybe 33%.

Who the fuck knows what the numbers are and how many are actually in the new world group. You won’t ever know unless you’re in it.

I could tell you how to find them but I won’t.

After all.. There’s only a very small group of people in the world that know everything about EVERYTHING…. right?

And have the tech to match….

Fucks me. I probably shouldn’t be saying any of this shit I don’t even know. I’m kind of just a passenger here.

Like I said I ain’t smart enough for this shit and there’s no sarcasm in that.

But please don’t come to my house with torch in hand because I’ve been flying blind for a decade and don’t know why any of this has happened.

And there’s nothing but truth in the statement ‘I don’t ever want to know.’

So I guess it came full circle.

You’re going to do whatever you’re going to do and you will do it with total confidence in your understanding.

I no longer have the desire to try and bridge that gap and no longer wish you would.

My fate was sealed when I heard the hell screams from the abandoned hospital late 2007.

It wasn’t real by the way.

Just before things started to be manipulated. Ironic that I wrote a weirdly dark and stupid letter and sent a shitty text just before this shit started.

But again, it’s hard to stay relevant when I have no idea why the fuck this happened.

I just wonder if any of this would be possible without that letter and shitty text to set my scene.

Since they were already fucking with shit.

But I can’t throw responsibility out the window. I don’t understand ‘RNM’ well enough to know how much was me and how much was them.

But I digress…

Just go back up to the line, ‘I guess it came full circle and stop there.’

Otherwise things will probably get twisted. Or some shit.

Or maybe I’m just paranoid.

But is it really paranoia if the whole world really is out to get you?

Here we go. It ain’t the gun. It’s the man behind the trigger. I got blood all over my fingers. And I’m trying to figure out , why i hide these words behind my mouth. im looking somewhere else its what its all about thinking how im stuck inside this house. On a road thats heading south i thi9nk I need to let them out, If I could then i would scream them i would shout them all out loud. But theres noone else around so ill just scream them to my self. I open up my notebook and I start to write them down. A simple piece of paper is a scary fucking thing. Cause once you write the words then you’ve just let the whole world in. And everything you say can make or break them with this sound. I promise yeah i promise that i will not let you down. I’m 23 years old, a stupid fucking kid. This is going back a while but its relevant as shit. I was trying to put together something some might call a life. I’d been given such potential I was dreaming of the sky. But the thing about life is it hits you from both sides. Like a rip in a rough tide or a dream where you both die. I feel like i lost time. The reasons i can’t find. The only thing i know is 23’s when that kid died.

Let me try and explain they think I’m going insane but if they got the timing right they’d know there’s something at else at play its not just something we say. You think i cant understand. It’s all the things inside my head that prove this world doesn’t end. Now im just trying to find another piece of this pie. Something to just get me by until the moment I die. Until then just listen close cause i got something to say. It’s like the crowd is at my feet while I’m just fading away. I keep it close to my chest, the things we don’t want you to know but it’;s like you just do the same so no-ones even getting closer to the moment where we figure out we’ve all been fucking wrong, but the distance is too great and youre an army fucking strong. So now theres nothing we can do except just play out the scene. Like we’re all hollywood actors but we’re all weak at the knees. I think of heath ledgers joker when he’s just sitting in his cell, got a smile on his face but hes still living in his hell. Yeah. Congratulations. You’ll always have a room in my mind. I just don’t think it’s the time yet.

t was suicide. Dont fabricate it. Just tell em babe. It was suicide . Don’t sugarcoat it. Just let them know it. Without the hope. I just had to go.

I’m just going to put this here for the old half of the world a little later.

“Everything operating at a molecular or atomic level operates the same way on a larger scale.” – Me.

One thing that means is that the past can change. That means INTER-DIMENSIONALLY. As long as it hasn’t been confirmed into reality through perception or observation. This has been proven on a molecular level yet applies to everything in reality. It’s not as important as the next part though because it’s not that functional. Secondly though, it means that every possibility that exists is taking place simultaneously at the same time as long as it isn’t being observed. Yet through observation, only one possibility eventuates into this dimensions reality. IE.. ‘This timeline.’ This is proved through an experiment where a single photon travels from one point to another with several different routes available. When being observed it will only take one path (because one photon cannot travel two, three or 10,000 different available routes at the same time right?) except if it’s not being observed it absolutely does. Proven. By scientific experiments. It’s Schrodingers theory in effect. It takes every route at once but WE are only exposed to the one confirmed in reality by observation/perception. This applies to every single event that takes place on a larger scale. That’s the part scientists don’t realise, because it’s completely hidden when looking at larger ‘objects’ (comprised by the elements that have this behaviour). That makes it almost impossible to prove. So how does it work then? Well it’s because we do AND don’t live in a single timeline. We live in a multiverse that is actually an intersecting combination of every different dimension containing all of the ‘present’ variables interacting to form one decided reality. And I theorise that this is done through string theory. Which is the layer of science that will probably eventually integrate special relativity and quantum mechanics in a complete form. Quantum theory is actually EVERYTHING. I’m watering this down a bit because the other element that is crucial to complete the structure is the inclusion of our vessel of perception (the human mind) and it’s (proven) impact on the physical reality outside it. But that’s another conversation. What this ultimately means is that, once completely understood, we will begin to learn how to manipulate the true construct of reality like it was always right there in front of us… Which involves the manipulation of all possibility to introduce a chosen direction or circumstance into effect. You can literally control physical circumstance introducing your chosen possibility to form your reality. Technically this can already be done by the mind on a forcedly limited scale. But eventually the power center of the world will do it to control the direction of humanity in any form and way they see fit. Some of the other branches of this science involves dimensional manipulation. Inter-dimensional travel. Teleportation of large objects. Time travel. And consciousness development, transference and single timeline and inter dimensional consciousness based time travel. Also, this structure means there are definitely an infinite number of universes that exist around each other. But while they are formed through the isolation of each confirmed observation forming each one, they are also connected on a fundamental level. Likely, through a more refined version of string theory than what is currently available.

And finally, on another subject.. The universe will definitely eventually stop expanding and start retracting to start phase two at half way into the bang of the next.

If you want to further understand this just go down my timeline a few posts and listen to the first part of the Michiu Kaku video where he discusses the basics of quantum theory at the atomic level. He just doesn’t seem to realise it applies the same way in a more active, large scale sense and structure.

You heard it here first.

Rapping with a different kinda flow like an OT telling me I better slow it down for this last piece. Easy on the pedals as your trying different methods. Like a new father stressing cause there’s kids in the back seat. Yeah the stakes are high. Things got heavy. Got so much on his shoulders now he’s not ready. But what you gonna do when push comes to shove. For the ones you love you know there’s nothing that you won’t do. That’s why it’s family first. You get through it. Loyalty is second to none. And that’s truest. Every time I look at my life I see through it. Like everything I wanted to start with seems stupid. I see a little clearer now my nephews in the picture. With his perfect little hands as he’s reaching for my sister. Nothing like the picture you got hanging on your wall. But you’re right. I see beauty there I look at him in awe. Like that one kid who’s brave enough to finally make the call. To separate that pack and leave them lying on the floor. To stand up to the darkness while it’s asking you for more. And look me in the eye while you stand waiting at my door. Cause forever is a ten year stretch straight to hell. Didn’t think I’d make it this far locked in my cell. I swear I didn’t do it but that doesn’t mean a thing. When someone else’s conscience never rises up to speak. Sold my soul to a three piece. And he told me I was holy. Got me down on both knees. It’s the devil that’s trying ta. Seeing through forever. Revelations and a new book. Scripture in the passages discussing Halsey’s last hook. Everything together lasts forever like a third test. Might not be the ending of that word but what I meant was. Fuck it. I’m only trying to show you what you can’t see. sciences of a universes holding back the last piece. Every time you think you’re gonna get it you just find me. Waiting at the finish line with nothing but some words peace.