Here we go. It ain’t the gun. It’s the man behind the trigger. I got blood all over my fingers. And I’m trying to figure out , why i hide these words behind my mouth. im looking somewhere else its what its all about thinking how im stuck inside this house. On a road thats heading south i thi9nk I need to let them out, If I could then i would scream them i would shout them all out loud. But theres noone else around so ill just scream them to my self. I open up my notebook and I start to write them down. A simple piece of paper is a scary fucking thing. Cause once you write the words then you’ve just let the whole world in. And everything you say can make or break them with this sound. I promise yeah i promise that i will not let you down. I’m 23 years old, a stupid fucking kid. This is going back a while but its relevant as shit. I was trying to put together something some might call a life. I’d been given such potential I was dreaming of the sky. But the thing about life is it hits you from both sides. Like a rip in a rough tide or a dream where you both die. I feel like i lost time. The reasons i can’t find. The only thing i know is 23’s when that kid died.
Let me try and explain they think I’m going insane but if they got the timing right they’d know there’s something at else at play its not just something we say. You think i cant understand. It’s all the things inside my head that prove this world doesn’t end. Now im just trying to find another piece of this pie. Something to just get me by until the moment I die. Until then just listen close cause i got something to say. It’s like the crowd is at my feet while I’m just fading away. I keep it close to my chest, the things we don’t want you to know but it’;s like you just do the same so no-ones even getting closer to the moment where we figure out we’ve all been fucking wrong, but the distance is too great and youre an army fucking strong. So now theres nothing we can do except just play out the scene. Like we’re all hollywood actors but we’re all weak at the knees. I think of heath ledgers joker when he’s just sitting in his cell, got a smile on his face but hes still living in his hell. Yeah. Congratulations. You’ll always have a room in my mind. I just don’t think it’s the time yet.
t was suicide. Dont fabricate it. Just tell em babe. It was suicide . Don’t sugarcoat it. Just let them know it. Without the hope. I just had to go.
Hopefully it’s not long now until this one ends and I face the next hell. I’ve been in this one long enough. If only it ended there. I didn’t think it could get worse than fighting demons in my head while the whole world attacks you for reasons you aren’t even aware of. I was wrong… I realise now where I’m likely to go next. I just hope I can keep my mouth shut about everything as it will only make things an equal kind of bad. Sideways is a worse kind of hell than the one I’ve been living since the RNM torture started. I just pray I can leave quickly when I get there and move onto the next hell without too much brutality. Although from what I’ve pieced together from all the major players it’s not going to go well. And then once that’s finally over I know it’s impossible to avoid the jet engine falling through my roof. No matter how many plans I make before I get there. Even me writing this has been planned out and one group of people know way more than I do. I figure they probably dumbed him down, used RNM manipulations and orchestrated everything in preperation for where I’m going as I could never imagine going down that path myself. Not that anyone will ever know or care. I should probably thank the people that helped me work out where I’m going next even though that’s kinda stupid. “It’s like the whole world is out to get me” is a line that exists for a reason. It’s all completely unavoidable on every level and every action has been worked out before hand. But never the less.. Thanks for not letting me fly blind. Even though you probably just want to watch me burn anyway for whatever reason. The way I see it I need to die at least three times as quickly as possible. That will obviously be my goal even though it won’t be half as easy as I had originally hoped. I swear I didn’t do anything to cause any of this. Even a simple stupid letter or text was someone else’s design. But some of you probably already know that. There’s nothing really to say though is there? I can talk to the converted Group C all I want and no one will ever consider any action. You know better than I do and you’ve probably seen every one of my plans completely destroyed in the worst way. Group B have already witnessed enough disgraceful destruction in this one to starve off any respect or interest in anything beyond what they already know. In this multiverse there are no second chances. Although I will always feel like I never even got a first. After every single person has turned on me and I’m rotting away in the worst of hells im sure I’ll be delivered some sort of bullshit reason. But that’s not even certain. I was a bright kid I promise you. I had high hopes, a good heart, and solid values. I could have done some good in this world. But maybe that’s a problem. So now all I have is a tortured mind and a world full of people who don’t believe the devil exists. Or at least his equal. Luckily for you it’s not something you ever realise.
I’m just going to put this here for the old half of the world a little later.
“Everything operating at a molecular or atomic level operates the same way on a larger scale.” – Me, just now. 😜
One thing that means is that the past can change. That means INTER-DIMENSIONALLY. As long as it hasn’t been confirmed into reality through perception or observation. This has been proven on a molecular level yet applies to everything in reality. It’s not as important as the next part though because it’s not that functional. Secondly though, it means that every possibility that exists is taking place simultaneously at the same time as long as it isn’t being observed. Yet through observation, only one possibility eventuates into this dimensions reality. IE.. ‘This timeline.’ This is proved through an experiment where a single photon travels from one point to another with several different routes available. When being observed it will only take one path (because one photon cannot travel two, three or 10,000 different available routes at the same time right?) except if it’s not being observed it absolutely does. Proven. By scientific experiments. It’s Schrodingers theory in effect. It takes every route at once but WE are only exposed to the one confirmed in reality by observation/perception. This applies to every single event that takes place on a larger scale. That’s the part scientists don’t realise, because it’s completely hidden when looking at larger ‘objects’ (comprised by the elements that have this behaviour). That makes it almost impossible to prove. So how does it work then? Well it’s because we do AND don’t live in a single timeline. We live in a multiverse that is actually an intersecting combination of every different dimension containing all of the ‘present’ variables interacting to form one decided reality. And I theorise that this is done through string theory. Which is the layer of science that will probably eventually integrate special relativity and quantum mechanics in a complete form. Quantum theory is actually EVERYTHING. I’m watering this down a bit because the other element that is crucial to complete the structure is the inclusion of our vessel of perception (the human mind) and it’s (proven) impact on the physical reality outside it. But that’s another conversation. What this ultimately means is that, once completely understood, we will begin to learn how to manipulate the true construct of reality like it was always right there in front of us… Which involves the manipulation of all possibility to introduce a chosen direction or circumstance into effect. You can literally control physical circumstance introducing your chosen possibility to form your reality. Technically this can already be done by the mind on a forcedly limited scale. But eventually the power center of the world will do it to control the direction of humanity in any form and way they see fit. Some of the other branches of this science involves dimensional manipulation. Inter-dimensional travel. Teleportation of large objects. Time travel. And consciousness development, transference and single timeline and inter dimensional consciousness based time travel. Also, this structure means there are definitely an infinite number of universes that exist around each other. But while they are formed through the isolation of each confirmed observation forming each one, they are also connected on a fundamental level. Likely, through a more refined version of string theory than what is currently available.
And finally, on another subject.. The universe will definitely eventually stop expanding and start retracting to start phase two at half way into the bang of the next.
If you want to further understand this just go down my timeline a few posts and listen to the first part of the Michiu Kaku video where he discusses the basics of quantum theory at the atomic level. He just doesn’t seem to realise it applies the same way in a more active, large scale sense and structure.
You heard it here first. And then didn’t hear it anywhere else for like, fucking ages….. ✌🏼
Rapping with a different kinda flow like an OT telling me I better slow it down for this last piece. Easy on the pedals as your trying different methods. Like a new father stressing cause there’s kids in the back seat. Yeah the stakes are high. Things got heavy. Got so much on his shoulders now he’s not ready. But what you gonna do when push comes to shove. For the ones you love you know there’s nothing that you won’t do. That’s why it’s family first. You get through it. Loyalty is second to none. And that’s truest. Every time I look at my life I see through it. Like everything I wanted to start with seems stupid. I see a little clearer now my nephews in the picture. With his perfect little hands as he’s reaching for my sister. Nothing like the picture you got hanging on your wall. But you’re right. I see beauty there I look at him in awe. Like that one kid who’s brave enough to finally make the call. To separate that pack and leave them lying on the floor. To stand up to the darkness while it’s asking you for more. And look me in the eye while you stand waiting at my door. Cause forever is a ten year stretch straight to hell. Didn’t think I’d make it this far locked in my cell. I swear I didn’t do it but that doesn’t mean a thing. When someone else’s conscience never rises up to speak. Sold my soul to a three piece. And he told me I was holy. Got me down on both knees. It’s the devil that’s trying ta. Seeing through forever. Revelations and a new book. Scripture in the passages discussing Halsey’s last hook. Everything together lasts forever like a third test. Might not be the ending of that word but what I meant was. Fuck it. I’m only trying to show you what you can’t see. sciences of a universes holding back the last piece. Every time you think you’re gonna get it you just find me. Waiting at the finish line with nothing but some words peace.
Too much on my hands can you hold this? it’s a pistol and its loaded like my motives. Take it with you when you leave. I dont need it. Koz im out here, with my chest up with an S stuck to the forefront. That means Superman but you got that? Didn’t need to write it in a line just to show you where my words at. You’re gonna see in a minute that my limit isn’t in it til you’re sitting stone cold with your lights out. What it takes to be an underground habit but I rap it with a classic kinda static. I sit between the channels, dealing with the devil in the details. Double spaces, deconstructed theories of a new world. You only see it once you’re in it like you’re trying to break the system. A systematic tactic for beginners. If you’re in it. You know you better practice what you preach. I’ll see you on the other side with lipstick on my cheek. You believe in monsters? I have seen a thousand. Open up your closet and they’ll probably surround you. Look under your bed koz they’re waiting for the minute they can get it send you running for your parents cause they probably going to find you. I’ve seen ghosts I’ve seen monsters I’ve seen the cliffs back in hell and I’ll never take it for granted I know I’m not coming home. I’ve been to heaven the moment I tried to capture it golden felt like the ocean in motion took it like Atlantis stolen so now I.. Take a new form kinda like a jigsaw without all the chainsaws locked inside the game doors. Still hectic even when I’m being cryptic hieroglyphics on the walls when you paint it what a pity.
It’s gonna get a little darker. Can you feel it? Take a minute if you need to I’mma be here. Waiting with the next line like a coke fiend. Tapping on the counter with some downers like I need to turn around my situation. Koz i been there. Did you miss me? I was breathing in smoke then it hit me. So I put it on a beat. Like a new cop. Walking on the street. I swear the bullet came from nowhere now he’s probably deceased. Better check the records. Did a body just fly in? Welcome to hells gates. I’ll need you to sign in. I know what time it is. And now it’s gone to waste. Getting colder by the minute. Like Alaska in this place. I’m displaced. Outta time. Holding the moment. Like I can freeze time. This rhyme counterfeit stolen. It’s like a fake fifty dollar bill mixing with real ones. Cleaned up. Going over counters for your next gun. Who won? Sorry, couldn’t hear you over bullets. Got a lot left. Reaching for the trigger so I pull it. Then it’s lights out. See I told you it gets darker. Donnie Darko in his car with seven bullets as he parks up. There’s only one way back. And that’s stupid. I know I’m in your head but please just don’t do this. Think about the reason as you’re stepping off the deep end. Times up. Guess I better learn how to swim.
Take a minute and just listen koz I’m throwing out a line. You’ll have fish hooks in the corner of your mouth with every rhyme. You got a mansion? Got some dollars but you’re wasting all your time koz the walls are painted red with all the colours of my mind. I drank the wine it stained my lips like god just threw up in face so now I’m walking up the stairs reciting lines for heavens sake. Making every mistake like theirs a time and a place. But here and now is where I live so guess the next ones on this page. Call your friends and throw a raver like A fist against a door. And when it’s 5am we’ll do a line and get up off that floor. I got a million things to say but when I try to try my words get lost. I’m like the music on your playlist every time the music stops.
Im drinking rum and yes I’m throwing out another one of my lost world inspired crusade speeches. Nine and a half years in and I’ve changed pace so many times I’m like a 16 year old kid driving south down a cop littered highway on his way to a Twenty One Pilots concert in an underground club renowned for hosting new world bands for the converted. Listening to Halsey like I’m Romeo and she’s a Capulet. Different houses fighting over who knows love best. I’m not buying diamonds but I’m throwing pearls out to the crowd on my way to an empty church. Contemplating the future while I give the people at work my invaluable wisdom. I’ve been there. 7000mg apparently isn’t enough for a man his size. So he ‘gets’ another chance. But if I wait over 2000 years just to get here and find out it’s already over than another 10000 should do the trick. I mean, surely we should chase the kind of view you only get if you’re a top gun jet pilot flying over head.
Chapter two was more than interesting. It opened up the sky and left every single preacher of every different faith god smacked at how it actually works. I was faded and chasing dragons but it led me here. Standing in front of the fire with my hands up. Not to give up position but to warm the cold chill of knowing there’s too many that will never know the truth of it all and too much to say. Infinite dimensions chasing each other down a string we call a line. While time laughs and changes the past like you were never even there. But I know perception creates the truth pinned to the fabric of space and outside of that ‘certainty’ lies everything else. So for me, the void is opportunity and I stand in the stead of gods you wish didn’t exist.
I don’t go to church so I don’t mean to go too in depth. The truth is I’d rather watch Rick N Morty and smile at the details no one in the old world understands. RNM is boss. Always. Those desperate moments where we give away more than we should really intend. But it’s better to be clever with your words and have no one understand than to stand on a street corner and preach. Or so Tyler would say. If he really thought about it. So put on a balaclava and jump on YouTube so you can start throwing out your extreme views about every god damn thing this universe shouldn’t be while girls with blonde hair stare about 7 rows down the stadium stairs wondering how many times per minute I’m thinking about her. Before I avoid the green and gold zinc and go get four more beers to drink before I throw up on the street outside wishing I’d talked to you. Knowing how straight up strange that would be. You, dressed all in white with glitter all over you from the night before. Me, a shadow of my former self. Yet closer to the universe than your favourite Astro physicist.