It is with great regret that I must write this letter. As I know our remaining time is short. I’ll try to get through it without tears but I make no promises.
You came into my world just after I lost the love of my life. It was a 1 terabyte hard drive with all my music on it. I even had Eminem’s Nail in the Coffin ffs. Needless to say it was a tragedy.
But then out of the ashes, came a shining beacon of light and hope and funk and old school Bob Dylan. It was you Pandora. It was you.
When we first met I must admit I didn’t think it was going to work out. I’d tell you how much I liked The Red Hot Chilli Peppers and you’d reply with some bullshit about a Nickleback song I just had to hear.
I almost called it quits right there and resigned myself to a life full of cheap cross platform debauchery jumping from Spotify to torrents and old cds that survived the revolution of the early 2000’s.
But when I told you what I liked and didn’t like it’s like you actually listened. It was as if our relationship grew from strength to strength and my thumbs had endless power. And I haven’t heard Nickleback since. For that alone I must thank you.
Honestly I never thought the fact that you were American would ever become a problem. If anything it made me like you more. But you lied to me Pandora. You said you had duel citizenship but now I find out you were only here temporarily. And that you are going home for good!?
It’s like the last 4 years we’ve spent together making our life’s playlist has been a complete waste. I promise I’m not angry. Just really disappointed. Don’t you remember all the good times we had?
I remember when your sweet voice would send me to sleep with Hozier and Milky Chance almost every night. Before you’d go to sleep exactly 30 minutes later as if somehow you were counting down the time.
The worst part is you didn’t even give a reason. I had to find out from Google that you’d had some kind of changes on the inside and you felt you needed to focus on yourself for a while.
But what about me Pandora? What am I going to do without my carefully mapped out Twenty One Pilots station? Did you even think of that when you ripped my heart out and put it on your thumbs down list?
I mean, what if I came to you? Would you still be the same? If I went to visit you in the States would my Amity Affliction station still scream the same way and remember all the songs we liked to play together?
I know you’ve been seeing other people this whole time and I didn’t have a problem with it because we’ve never been exclusive. But Pandora, can’t you find it in your heart to stay in Australia where everything we’ve worked so hard to build can thrive and flourish.
I can even live with the Australian Defence Force ads you talk so much about. It did get borderline creepy how badly you seemed to want me to join. But I guess I could consider it. As long as you are there by my side.
I know this will probably fall on deaf ears. Which seems kind of ironic… But I promise if you give me another chance I’ll create the greatest station the world has ever seen. I mean WE will create it together.
Think about it Pandora. We could be together forever. You just have to want it too. Don’t give up on us!
Yours from Australia,